Concise Sentences

Use the Active Voice

In the active voice, the subject performs the action. In the passive voice, the subject is acted upon or receives the action. To determine the active voice, ask yourself who or what performs the action in your sentence:

• Passive: The kitten was helped out of the tree by the fireman.
  Active: The fireman helped the kitten out of the tree.

Limit Infinitive Phrases

The infinitive form of a verb is “to + verb” (e.g. to eat, to sleep). Try using the active form instead (e.g. eat, sleep).

Wordy: The duty of a noble writer is to clearly communicate her ideas and to incite people to action.
Concise: A noble writer communicates her ideas clearly and incites people to action.

Combine Sentences

Sometimes multiple short sentences can be combined into one sentence that flows better.

Wordy: The cat was orange. The cat was cute. The cat bit me!
Concise: The cute, orange cat bit me!

Convert Phrases into Single Words or Adjectives

Avoid using longer, wordy phrases when a shorter descriptor will do the trick. 

• Wordy: The employee with ambition…
• Concise: The ambitious employee…
• Wordy: The new mayor who stepped into office temporarily…
• Concise: The interim mayor…

Concise Vocabulary

Remove Redundant Words

Some common phrases are redundant because the words have the same meaning. For example, a “free gift.” Since a gift is free by definition, adding “free” does not enhance the meaning of “gift.” Just use “gift” instead. Other examples include: "past history," "return back," or "end result."

Wordy: This terrible tragedy of the crash in the economy brings back past memories of the period in time when the economy crashed in 1929.
Concise: The current economic crash is so terrible that it reminds people of the 1929 economic crash.

Remove Unnecessary Details

Wordy: Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess.
Concise: Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess.

Use Conjunctions Instead of Phrases

Examples include:

• In light of the fact = because
• In the event that = if, when
• In spite of the fact that = although, though
• In the neighbourhood of = about

Unnecessary Clauses and Determiners

Modify Unnecessary “That,” “Who,” or “Which” Clauses

• Wordy: All students who are in the Medieval Literature course must…
• Concise: Students in the Medieval Literature course must…

Modify Unnecessary “There are,” “There is,” or “It is” Clauses

• Wordy: There are three people in my class who think the world is flat.
• Concise: Three people in my class think the world is flat.

Remove Unnecessary Determiners

Determiners are words like: kind of, sort of, type of, really, definitely, actually, generally, specific, particular. Often, sentences make sense without these.

• Wordy: This is definitely a type of communication strategy, but it is basically useless in noisy settings.
• Concise: This communication strategy is useless in noisy settings.